Modelling kind choice

Modelling is teaching in parenting. Good parents model good attitude, words, and actions. It should not be confused with perfection, however. Being happy, positive and right all the time is not what we aim for. Modelling fixing mistakes, apologizing for negative emotion spillage, or deciding to do good despite immediate consequences are some of very important attitude our children need to learn from us.

As good Christian parents, modelling kind choices whenever possible is meaningful. Within the family, there is hurt, mean words, negative gestures, and bad choices. As regular humans, we want to repay the hurt even towards our own kids. Sometimes, we feel betrayed by their ungratefulness, abandoned by their negligence, and exhausted by their endless demands. These feelings can come out in harsh consequences, overreaction to small protests, or snappy attitude. While growing up to be better parents ourselves, we can show them making a kind choice regardless of the current situation.

Being kind is in giving second chances, responding without judgment, and conscientious of own actions. It is not just between parents and children. Children see us everywhere and with everyone. When we are kind to our partners, they notice. When we are kind to cashier at the supermarket, they watch. When we are kind to other drivers on the road, they learn. Through modelling, we teach to be kind which is one of qualities of love in Bible.

Bad days happen to everyone, even to good parents. On those days, good parents model trying. There is a meaningful difference in front of God and also in our children’s eyes, when we try and fail versus when we didn’t even put in effort. Like all other biblical teachings, we cannot be kind all the time to everyone without God’s help and guidance. So is good parenting. The only thing we need to do is that we recognize this, and we make sure we are on the right track with God.